This is dedicated to Samuel...

Dude, I don't know you. And frankly, I don't think we'll ever meet. But this week Pauli and I had a cyber-talk and so I decided to give you this song:

Divided spirit

Today I met her: www.alyssamonks.com
She came to my painting class. We talked about painting. A lot. It was a great talk. But I felt uneasy about my artistic future.
I felt divided.

Later, this evening I went to the lecture. It was also great.

Oh, design students are so crazy...

I had my graphic design typography class today. We had a quiz. It was hard. I felt bad.

But the point of my post is not to talk about the quiz, but to talk about my fellow graphic design students. Today was fun, I hadn't gotten one of those laughter crisis in a long time... We had been talking about so many things, including the quiz, Mac computers, iPods and the NEW generation of iPods (yeah, that's my life-- I get my new iPod video and in less than a week is all gone to hell because there are some new and better ones out). And well, most of the talking about the new Apple stuff was done by Anna. She said she knows so much about it (and it is A LOT that she knows) she has learned because she works at the computer store on campus, so she has to be up to date in all that.

After that, we went into the computer lab to star working on our projects. Anna sat next to me, and next to Anna sat Hamilton. From there, it all went downhill. We continued talking about our projects, facebook, the new facebook crap, etc. When suddenly (I might have spaced out for a moment because I don't recall how we started on this topic) Anna said she talks to herself when she's stressed; and so I gave her a look, an we-can-still-be-friends-even-though-you-do-that look. And after seeing my face she said "please get her away from me." To that, I tried not to react, but it was impossible. Anna explained "that's what you're thinking now about me now" and it started... I asked Anna if she had an imaginary friend, because I thought she had said that to herself. I started laughing because I wanted to say "I would get her away... but I can't see her." I couldn't even explain to Anna and Hamilton why exactly I was laughing so hard. I was almost crying.

They're so much fun. Now I'm off to watch Project Runway. I'll try, at least. My tv is giving up on me. The screen goes black after a couple of minutes of watching it, and to fix it you have to turn it off and then back on. Oh, well.

Also, my sis Barbie is 20 years old today. She's had a happy birthday :) My mom and I got her a tres leches cake.

Remembering my dear April Love

Today makes one year since I last saw April. It was a saturday and we were at a football game at school. I was working on collecting donations for the hurricane Katrina victims, she was sitting outside the stadium watching the game from a little hill by one of the entrances. I was going down the steps when I heard her voice shouting "B." I looked and it was her. We exchanged a couple of words and I told her to call me. I don't remember the last I said to her, but I remember her smiling and just shining with life, as always. That was the last time I saw her. She was with him. We sent each other text messages later that night. We said we would speak the following day, because we had so much to talk about. We never talked again.

The moment I was told she was gone plays clearly in my head often. Specially when I'm around campus and I think of calling her on her cell phone or see something that reminds me of her, that's when that moment replays in my head. Those words. I want to erase those words when I was told she was gone. This loss wasn't natural, she was taken.

The fact she's gone is surreal. Her life has marked us, who love her, in ways that changed the course of so many of our actions and thoughts. She certainly did great here on Earth, but she had much more to do, so many more lives to impact, so much more to live. She raised standards wherever she went and challenged the norm. And she empowered many, she empowered me.

I hold the memories of good times and talks in my heart, but all the pictures and the stories will never be enough. She left a void that cannot be filled.

April, I miss you so much. I'll see you in heaven, amiga.


http://april-love.memory-of.com/About.aspx

Inspiration from one generation to other

I visited with the AAUW ladies from one of the local chapters today. They invited me to their brunch meeting this morning. It was really nice, they had me as their guest speaker on the agenda. I shared with them my experience in Washington, DC for the NCCWSL and my work on the SAC. They listened and looked at my with joy, I could see it in their eyes and smiles. They smiled and asked questions about the conference, the work with AAUW, my opinions on certain topics such as rape and insecurity on campus, they looked at my pictures from the conference and even applauded after I finished.
Most of the ladies there are seniors and so I know they looked at me thinking I had to take on their roles not after they're gone but right now, I know they were relieved to see someone my age taking action in the fight for equity. But what I think they might not know is that they inspired me today. They are active in the community, working on what they think is right and noble, wanting to better this world for the generations that follow.

WoOoO HoOoO!!!

I have about 500 paintings to finish,
about 2 chapters to read
in 4 different books.
But at THIS very moment,
I don't really care.
Why?!

Because of this:

About a weekend

This weekend was fun. I had a good time with my family and I got a lot of things done. Thank goodness for labor day and a 3-day weekend. Saturday my school got morally destroyed by USC. They kicked our butts in football.
Good thing I don't care about that sport, so I'm emotionally ok. I babysat for some friends that day, so I watched the game on TV. Well, I half-watched it, because most of the time I was reading or channel-surfing. I even got a little of Project Runway that night. Sunday, I went out with my mom. We wanted to go to a fair, but they had taken it down sometime before we decided that it'd be good to go for a minute, so we ended up in Barnes & Noble where she didn't let me buy anything. This is what she did: we went around, looked at postcards, she let me go around and scan some books and pick 3-4 that I wanted to buy, THEN she decided she wanted to leave and went to me and got the books from my hand and enumerated reasons why I didn't need/want any of those books. Until I ended up just with the postcards, and then I said "well, why buy only the postcards?" and put them down. She said "YAY! CONGRATULATIONS! THAT'S WHAT I LIKE! YOU DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING!" She was smiling a lot.
We took these pictures outside BN. She wanted to go into the pet store, but I didn't go in because it stunk. We went for dinner to Applebee's and then to my uncle's house. Then we all (too many relatives to mention everyone's name) went to the movies and saw World Trade Center. We got out at about midnight then went to the Waffle House for some... *suspense*... waffles.

Ay, la familia :)

Today we just had lunch together and then I went and dropped her off at work. We took her car to the shop because it's acting up. I have to go pick her up later on, so I just came to the studio and finished the paintings for tomorrow. I really like them! I have to read a lot, but I wanted to update the blog and search for an article online. I'm done with both.

In and out of this highway

And the week just went by....
Hanging out with friends,
events, planning, studying, lots of reading,
hugging, movies, laughs,
purple sunsets with orange souls,
car rides, cruising....
consumer behavior, and history,
waiting for books bought online,
gas, pictures, Mount Sequoyah,
graphic design history, weird looks, random meetings,
names forgotten, new names learned,
crossing out to-do's and writing new ones,
design this, type out that,
think of this, disregard, news paper addiction,
hallway talks, art shows,
postcards from Italy--
Tim's Pizza, Ajuas, and other unrelated types of food.
This week has been good,
has been long and short--
all in all, I've smiled.
It's almost been a year, April....