I am so tired of online dating. For quite a few months now (most of 2015 and what goes of 2016) I've been in and out of dating sites. It's exhausting for my soul.
This is how it's been happening: I create a profile, pick good photos, answer questions, do some write ups, and start to look at other profiles. Then I reply to some messages, most of them go unanswered because they are just "Hey." Then I meet one or two people in person. And I get tired and delete the profile. Men seem to have more balls to talk like imbeciles online than they do in real life. I have put several of those dudes in their place, but that also gets exhausting and, frankly, I doubt it's helping.
Last year I met someone decent. We carried a good conversation and then he came to visit me. He lives to far away. We kept talking, but then he made plans to visit and then flaked out in three different occasions. We kept talking until we didn't. I liked him. But that was stupid.
I started to read a book I got for $2 at a goodwill. A really good book by Tracy McMillan. It's shaken a lot of my views on myself and has awaken me. But then last week, while I still had a dating app on my phone, I watched her TED Talk. And I ended up in tears. I'm choosing to marry myself right now.
There's a lot of people that find love online. My best friend included. So it's valid, and it's cool. But I've never wanted that to be my story. I crave a different kind of magic. Magic that starts by committing to myself. And I do. I do now. I do forever. I do. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poor, in sickness and in health, until death do us apart.