Stranded (my strange, lonely times)

So what... 'stranded' is the title of a song i like, and i can somehow relate to it...
OK... oite esto:
There's a time when a person is the happiest... i can tell you now when i think i was the happiest because it's the time i never asked myself if i was happy. when you wonder "Am i happy?" be careful...
Anyway! when i was at my happiest i didn't have anything (i know life is sooo strange!) I didn't have money or nice clothes... i didn't have internet access, although i had two e-mail accounts that i checked once a month! And in spite of that i had a great time.
I had the most wonderful friends that i could ever ask for in this insane world... i'm still in touch with some of them. And i felt useful! i would help so many people.... i was a super clown at my church (my artistic name was 'ronchita') and i loved it. i was so good at school! i love math! i was friends with my teachers (and that's true!) i was really happy! i had three best friends...
1) the girl who knew (and still knows) everything about me and viceversa... and i mean everything!)
2) the guy that was like my dad... i could talk to him about everything and he would give me the best advice... and after all... he'd be still my friend! (maestro!) and
3) the one i didn't get! he could be the funny guy, the smart guy, the stupid one, the needy... etc... he would ask ME for advice... because he trusted me. he was the one who missed me when i was out of town for two or three days... and when i got back he'd hug me as if i'd been gone for two years.

but life is not perfect and so i hit the pavement.

i lost everything at once... now i don't know if i really lost everything... 'cause i never owned anything to begin with! i left my home country to come here 'to have a better life' (according to others). i guess i just wanted to go back... because i want to love and feel loved... now, i want to go back to say good-bye, 'cause i never got to say good-bye. if you think this is a mass confusion... you might be right!
but that's the way life works... one insanity at the time :)

Peace...