About a man

“You haven’t given me much idea of __________. Would he object to your working—outside the house I mean? Excluding personal charm, which I assume, and the more conventional virtues which go with success in business, is he his own man? Has he any force of character? Or imagination and generosity? Does he read books? Has he any leaning toward the arts and sciences or anything beyond creature comfort and duck-shooting? In short, has he the possibilities of growth that would make a lifetime with him seem attractive? These things don’t appear later—they are either there latently or they will never be there at all.” 

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

What a good letter. My dad didn't give me much advice about men. He showed me how to live life for myself, and I think that is indirect advice on men -- that I shouldn't wait or want someone to come make my life better, that it is my right and my responsibility to do so myself.

Lo leí por ahi

Me preocupa la gente que dice que anda buscando el amor, como si el amor ya estuviera por ahí listo y terminado. Como si existiera un amor enlatado, un producto diseñado que eliges en algún escaparate. Se han creído el cuento del amor prefabricado que nos venden en las películas de domingo en la noche o que nos cantan en la radio. Uno no busca el amor, uno lo construye... - Carlos Arturo García Bonilla

Dismissed

That's how I feel right now. I asked my best friend if she's mad at me because of something that happened last week, after which she's been very short on contact with me. So I asked this morning. In a text message. She said no, in the same short manner she's been answering me for over a week. And then, a bit later, she sent a big message saying she didn't want to think about my question because it brought her negative energy and she didn't want to deal with drama.

She's been trying to cut off the drama from her life. 

But in my understanding, drama is not the situations that you front or the conversations that you do or do not have, but rather the attitude you have when dealing with those situations or having those conversations. 

So I felt dismissed. 

A bit like I've felt all these years, waiting for a fix to that which is out of my control. 

The meaning of gone

At the mention of waves,
you came to me.
The sea
it brings you to me.
All the moments in my head
came to me
like a tsunami.
One after the other.
At night, when you taught me
that saltwater heals.
At sunset, when you taught me to float
to be free
and let the sea rock me.
At noon, when we swam at high tide
with fish and fishermen by our side
when the sea took me above your head
and you felt my toes touch your floating hairs.
In the morning,
when the tide was low
and the walk to the water seemed eternal.
I will always miss you, pa.
And the sea will always bring me to you.

"5 days of" in 2015

This year I decided to do several things instead of new year's resolutions.
I have some big things
and I have some little things.

The big things:
- I'm translating my favorite book to English
- I'm eating healthier
- I'm speaking things into existence
- I'm painting more

The little things:
I am doing 5 day challenges. I wrote a whole bunch of things on pieces of paper and put them in an empty tissue box where I pull out a new one on Monday (or Tuesday, if I'm not in the office on Monday) and then I have my challenge for the week. I'm posting them on instagram under #5DaysOf2015
So far, I have gotten this done:
- Mailed 5 handwritten notes
- Discovered 5 new bands
and this week is - 5 days of yoga
This is all in an effort of making my weekdays count. The years, after college, have just been going too fast. I think it's because I get stuck in routines. They are lame. I'm shaking things up.