Being a fire-fighter, a swimmer, slim, helping students, traveling, paper planes, a music photographer, playing the guitar, music, love at sunset,
"Dreams don't have to be practical: that's why they're dreams." (from Pixar)
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Tuesday, August 07, 2012
A dream of old friends and ceremonial stuff
I had another vivid dream. This time I woke up annoyed, and everyone in the dream was annoyed with me. I was at my old church in El Salvador. It was clear that I had been away for a few years, because everyone was grown and the place looked completely different (yet felt familiar). I had been hanging out on the 2nd level of the building and was wearing a fancy dress.. Some quinceañera type thing, but white... or cream. And I came to the main temple and everyone there looked bored. When they saw me come in they were like "finally! where have you been?" and then two of my friends and me when up on the podium... where couples usually get married, and just stood there. I don't know what kind of celebration it was, but I woke up and was so thankful I got out of that dream. It was so clear and so boring. I guess I'm not eager to go back to any church anytime soon.
Monday, August 06, 2012
Dreams!
Not the kind that drive you out of town, or make you go to college, or make you quit college to follow you passion and open a business and become a millionaire.
No.
I'm talking about the ones that make you travel when you sleep. Yes, make you travel. You go to new places, you meet new people, you experience crazy stuff. I've entered my vivid-dream cycle again. I never see it coming, but when it hits me it really hits me.
Babies talking, 80's clothes, scary buildings with killers, stairs to nowhere, theaters with screens on the ceiling, my dad, places I've lived in and places I've never been to.
I love these crazy dreams. Even when they're horror dreams. It's interesting to see what my mind is capable of.
No.
I'm talking about the ones that make you travel when you sleep. Yes, make you travel. You go to new places, you meet new people, you experience crazy stuff. I've entered my vivid-dream cycle again. I never see it coming, but when it hits me it really hits me.
Babies talking, 80's clothes, scary buildings with killers, stairs to nowhere, theaters with screens on the ceiling, my dad, places I've lived in and places I've never been to.
I love these crazy dreams. Even when they're horror dreams. It's interesting to see what my mind is capable of.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Step One
I've been having headaches lately. I know it's because of all the weight I've put on in the last 18 months (after disregarding my health and diet). It was a dumbass move.
I don't want to die and look back to see that I always regretted the way I look without doing anything to fix things. So this is me. Fixing things. I'm going to start slow. Adding activity every day. I'm too tired and bothered with this headache to even finish this post.
Discipline. I know I have it in me.
I don't want to die and look back to see that I always regretted the way I look without doing anything to fix things. So this is me. Fixing things. I'm going to start slow. Adding activity every day. I'm too tired and bothered with this headache to even finish this post.
Discipline. I know I have it in me.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Sleep depravation
The worst of its kind. I probably just got about 1.5 hrs total of "sleep" last night. The last month has been a roller coaster. From happy highs to the dark falls. Not sure it's time to open extra doors to my heart, after other doors just hit me in the face.
Still invisible.
Still invisible.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Summer Love
I want to lay down on the grass with you. Stare at the sky, day or night.
Feel the summer night breeze.
I want us to have a small table. We'll use it to cook together.
I want to sit down for dinner and see you across the tiny table.
Let's laugh together.
Let's make popsicles and plan road trips.
Let's not worry about things. Things are not important.
We can walk around the park and have a picnic.
You can hold my hand, Love, as the fireflies rise from the ground to the summer sky.
I want to lay down on the grass with you. Stare at the sky, day or night.
Feel the summer night breeze.
I want us to have a small table. We'll use it to cook together.
I want to sit down for dinner and see you across the tiny table.
Let's laugh together.
Let's make popsicles and plan road trips.
Let's not worry about things. Things are not important.
We can walk around the park and have a picnic.
You can hold my hand, Love, as the fireflies rise from the ground to the summer sky.
I want to lay down on the grass with you. Stare at the sky, day or night.
Tuesday, June 05, 2012
The child of my mother
I'm a child of the moon. My mother told me about the beautiful moon she saw the night before I was born, it was waning and bright. So bright that she thought the sun was still out. She said that's maybe why I like the moon so much, because she welcomed me home.
I'm a child of the sun. My father taught me to visualize its light and send it to those I love, make the light shine from my heart to theirs. He taught me to greet the sun as it rose and as it died down with the day.
I'm a child of the ocean. My parents took me there to heal the wounds left from a foot surgery. Black night, black sand, black saltwater down my future scars, healing them and me.
I'm a child of the moon and the sun. I'm the child of my mother. I'm the child of my father.
http://cowbird.com/author/begutierrez/#!/27431
I'm a child of the sun. My father taught me to visualize its light and send it to those I love, make the light shine from my heart to theirs. He taught me to greet the sun as it rose and as it died down with the day.
I'm a child of the ocean. My parents took me there to heal the wounds left from a foot surgery. Black night, black sand, black saltwater down my future scars, healing them and me.
I'm a child of the moon and the sun. I'm the child of my mother. I'm the child of my father.
http://cowbird.com/author/begutierrez/#!/27431
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Hear the waves breaking
These waves breaking are 1572 miles away, seven weeks ago. I spent that Wednesday around Malibu Lagoon with my sister and a new friend, who taught me to watch for good waves.
The three of us are dreamers. The three of us are artists in different ways. We paint, we draw, we photograph, we stand on waves, we design, we see the colors in extra-vivid shades, we break and glue our souls back together.
There were stories in between waves. There was laughter... that was my favorite part.
He told us about the penguin he ordered on a website when he was little. The penguin that never came. "They said they were tropical penguins," he said between laughs, "but it never came!"
In life, sometimes not being OK is OK. What matters is who's next to you during those not OK times.
http://cowbird.com/author/begutierrez/#!/26480
The three of us are dreamers. The three of us are artists in different ways. We paint, we draw, we photograph, we stand on waves, we design, we see the colors in extra-vivid shades, we break and glue our souls back together.
There were stories in between waves. There was laughter... that was my favorite part.
He told us about the penguin he ordered on a website when he was little. The penguin that never came. "They said they were tropical penguins," he said between laughs, "but it never came!"
In life, sometimes not being OK is OK. What matters is who's next to you during those not OK times.
http://cowbird.com/author/begutierrez/#!/26480
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