Sunday, April 08, 2007

Strange mood

Florida palm tree, originally uploaded by begutierrez.

After spring break in New Orleans and the conference in Florida I haven't been quite sure of what's happening around me or what I need to do. Or maybe is just that I haven't taken the time to think about all that has happened already.

I've been in a weird mode. Since I've missed almost a week of classes and there's a lot of catching up to do, there hasn't been a lot of time for me to write on the blog or on anything, really. I have to write a couple of poems for workshop in my creative writing class and the first one I wrote was not very good.

I'm in great need of a time of peace and quiet to just relax. While in Orlando there was a night when everyone got in the pool and I was with my friend just talking about what's next for us after graduation. He has everything ready and I'm just the opposite with so many things just coming against me like tidal waves. Right there, when we were sitting by the pool with our feet in the water I felt like opening my heart and just telling him all that's in my head. He said he had been talking to someone about me and why I'm not going to grad school right away, and he seemed worried (like so many others), but didn't have the story quite complete. It's not about the fact I'm not going for my master's right away, that's the part that's actually my choice. I didn't say anything. He wouldn't have remembered it the next day anyway. But when everyone came back from the other side of the pool and he decided to get in the water with pants and all I took his wallet and cell phone and just stayed there by the pool till he came back. Everyone left while he was walking around the water and so I had a little time, right there, in the middle of the night with a fantastic tropical weather and a soft breeze just to myself. I could have stayed there till the sun came up, but when my friends came back to where I was I walked them back to the room.

And coming back here, I just feel like the weather this days. All out of place and time. There's winter weather in the Spring and everyone's almost crying about it, and even the poor flowers and plants that were in bloom are dying now.

I'll get myself together soon. But there's just too much to do before I can get to that, it's a bit ridiculous.

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