Dear...

dear star,

i have a question and a funny story for you. the question is the same question i've asked myself ever since i can remember the hot nights at the third-floor apartment where i grew up, but i forgot it. i remember questioning and answering with made up lines and stories, but i can't remember now why it was so important to have an answer. sometimes, just seeking that answer is where the meaning of the answer is, not in the actual answer. i think it was in a movie, where i heard that the human heart/mind cannot live without something to strive, something to desire; and if that something is achieved, then the whole meaning of it changes and somehow loses its essence. so i forgot the question, like the woman who thought of the name for her newborn baby and ended up naming the baby something completely different to what she had thought for nine months.
and well, the funny story, wasn't that funny after all. i told the story in my head a few times, and by the last time i told it, i wasn't laughing anymore. not even smiling. i think it lost its flavor in the translation from one language to the other. like that "salty" joke i made today. it only made sense in my head that's why mili didn't get it. or maybe her spanglish is better than mine, even when that's not even a real language.

oh, star, sorry for making you read all this. sometimes i just want to get some words out without a purpose or end. with the end result being lost time. yours and mine. sorry, my star. i think i would be better off getting words in than out.

goodnight.