Saturday, March 01, 2008

Counting blessings

Today is March 1st and that means in 9 more days I'll turn 23 years old. There's a mix of thoughts, feelings, and images going through my head as I think of it.

In the past couple of months I've lived days one by one and sometimes they come together in memory as one and some days are brighter and clearer in my head. I've been quiet and loud. Thinking about goals reached and greater things. Having trouble processing life with words and images.

And there are material blessings for which I'm very thankful for. A new (to me), more reliable car. A new phone... camera phone. The car has working a/c and heat. I am very grateful for the heat. And the camera phone is helping me alleviate my need of freezing moments. Since my camera broke last year in July, I've needed some outlet. I kept using the camera, even when the image was half blurry. But now I have the mobile phone helping me get the inspiration I need.

These almost-23 years of age get me thinking. I've lived 3 more years than what April was given, and I'm only 4 years short than what Maria Ines was given. Life is precious and these two lost friends of mine remind me of it every single day. I feel young and old at the same time. I stand by my little cousins and my aunts and uncles. I'm in between, and sometimes, alone. Unique. Figuring out things as I go. No role model set, not a found path before me.

I'm thankful. For every smile I've seen, for every laugh I've heard, for every time my stomach hurt for laughing so much. And I can't wait for more. New friends, old friends. So many of them have left so many to come. I want flowers for my birthday. Sunflowers. Or roses. There's not much more I can ask for.

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