Thursday, June 16, 2005

The right place?!

Suddently, I feel like I need to write... I just need to write.
I called my dad's house in El Salvador to see if he was already home after the surgery, and my little brother answered the phone. He didn't know anything. I asked how my dad was and my bro said that he didn't know; that he had planned going to the hospital with my big bro, but when he got home my big bro was already gone. I feel... I don't know how I feel. I wish I could be over there with my papi. How can they care so little?! I remember last time my dad had surgery... it was open heart... he had something done (a bypass I think) about seven years ago... and I remember being at the hospital with him the night before the surgery and laughing at some silly joke (as always... we're so goofy). And then the next thing I remember is waiting for the doctor to come and tell us how it all had gone... and then I recall seeing my dad after the surgery... he looked so... fragile.

I wish I was with him now. But there is not really anything I can do but wait here... and guess what time my big bro might get home, so I can call and find out how are things.
I'm just waiting here, for someone to tell me anything. How pathetic. How useless. I wish I could be with him.

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