Selfportrait at night

DC next week!!!

WOOHOOOOO!!!! Washington DC next week, babe!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to get there!!!!!!!!!! The NCCWSL 2006 is next week and I'll be assisting as a SAC member :)

Awesome!!!

I hope I can see my family and my Aaron again. I can't wait!!! I'm SO excited!!! Uhhhhhh I'll take so many pictures :)

I'll get me another "I-heart-DC" t-shirt... and I want to go to Open City Cafe again, and I know it'll be great because my friend Roo will be with me!! (I love Roo!).

CAN'T WAIT!!!

Now, let me go paint. And read... for web design class... i'm really liking it :)

Stolen memories

(emphasis in stolen)




Reading the blogs of the girls studying in Rome has been nice. Some of them go into detail of what they see and what they think about that crazy, beautiful city and its people; some others just post a couple of photos with very little explanation or they are vague in their journal entries... the vague memories leave room for my imagination to play a part. It's like I'm also constructing my own memories of their trip with pieces of my traveling adventures of the past.

I've stolen some of their photos. Some of my favorite ones. If you want to read and see what I'm talking about just go to the links on my "familiar lives" section on the side bar and see the ones that say "in Rome." They're click-worthy.



In addition to my Rome-blog reading, I watched the movie "Only You" on tv the other night. It's one of my favorite movies and it just happened to be on tv the night I decided to watch something. It was nice :)

Of carving supplies and time spent with friends

I think Hobby Lobby is playing with my feelings. Last week, I bought carving tools because I'm starting on that and printmaking. Well, I just got the newsletter and it says that the carving supplies are on sale this week. I think I used another coupon when I bought them... but still. I can't wait on them forever....

I've been hanging out with friends. Adam, my chess buddy, is getting great at the game; he almost won on Wednesday when we met. I'm still number 1, though. It's always fun when we meet because we talk about everything. He's very smart and easy to talk to; he's also very funny and does some things that always surprise me. Last week we started going to a coffee place in town where we'd never been before. It's call the Pontiac and there's an old Pontiac car inside the shop; well, the first day we went there we'd been there for over an hour when he gets all excited and says (kinda loud) "That's a Pontiac!!!" while pointing at the car. I cracked UP! and said "what?! did you NOT know?!!!!!!! we're at THE PONTIAC!!!!" We've been laughing about it ever since. Oh, Adam.

And I went with J-o and J-a to the renaissance fest in Oklahoma yesterday. It was so much fun, even though the sun was toasting us as we walked around. I think it was about 95 degrees... it was HOT! I got pretty much all the color I should get in the summer. My skin was a little light with the winter and all... I hadn't gotten a chance of some outdoor activities to get my color back to normal until yesterday. What i enjoyed the most was the pirate show. I love pirates (arr!!!). We stopped by the pirate gift shop after the show and I got a pirate bandana that I'll wear when I go see Pirates of the Caribbean II (can't wait for July 7th!). I'm very excited about it. When I was paying for the bandana the pirate behind the counter asked me how to pronounce my name... he said I can get some pirate love if I wear the bandana and speak some spanish out there in the sea. Hahahah! Good times!!!

This morning I went to the flea market with Richard. It was the latino flea market :) Not all the shops were opened, but we had a good time. We went for Salvadoran food after that. He cracks me up. It's always nice to talk to him. We talked about a lot of things... somewhere in between we talked about self-destructive attitudes in artists. I haven't seen any of that in me. Maybe because I've taken on art as a salvation from everything else. Art saves me. It's a self preservation thing, you see.

We'll talk more later. Have a nice long weekend!

I really like how this looks. I like spelling it like this, with a Z instead of an S. I think it looks better.
This is a really cool project... here's the link: words

I'm a little confused. I took a nap, a mega nap. I woke up 3 hrs later than planned and I was confused, I didn't know what day it was or what was going on. Sun was still up and it was about 7:40 pm, so that didn't help to clear up my mind. I guess I needed to sleep :)

Looks like tomorrow I'll be people-watching here.

B is feliz!!!

I get to keep my web design class this summer-- YESSSS!!!!!!
I am SO happy!!! I love the class!!! Only 3 people in the class, with one of the best professors :)

I ordered my books, I'm about to do the reading, I've already learned so much.... woooooo hoooooooooo!

http://bisfeliz.blogspot.com <-- that's for class.

Catching up

So what time is in right now in Italy?

I've been thinking so much about it. I've been reading the blogs of my friends studying abroad in Rome. They're having such a wonderful time... It might seem more magical to me because I'm stuck here in Arkansas. I'm doing good and having a very nice time, but my heart... I mean.... I just get butterflies in my stomach when I think about Italy. It's like falling in love with someone you've never met before.

I been playing a lot with art. I've been working with ink and paper, kinda free to see what I come up with. I've also been using a lot of writing in my pieces. My essay writing class helped me a lot on this. I miss that class.

I've been reading a lot about design. I'm catching up on my Communication Arts reading. The last 3 issues had just been waiting for me to go and actually read some of the info in there. When I get them, I just look at the pictures and leave the reading for later.... This is what being so busy has done to me.

Slowing down is good. I might play chess with Adam today after class. Friday I'm having dinner with Amy at one of my favorite cafes. That girl is so crazy-- we need to catch up, I haven't talk to her in a lonnnng time.

Chris gave me some liquid tempera yesterday. Well, it was actually a lot of liquid tempera. I can have fun with that... I won't use it seriously. Oh, and I got some wood carving tools and a wood burning tool; Richard is supposed to teach me a little about printmaking.

With all this art in my life you can imagine how my fingernails are looking-- yea. I love it. And, everything is ready for the summer art show with the girls. I'll have 2 or 3 pieces up :)

Pretty please for Web Design class!!!

I started my web design class yesterday. There's only four students in the class right now. This represents a problem: the class might get cancelled. Which represents a much bigger problem: I would be really sad.

I got a glimpse of what the class will be today and I loved it. Great teacher, great subject, great everything. I really really really want the class. I hope it doesn't get cancelled.

Check this out, you would be happy if you do: http://del.icio.us

On a different note, my big brother, Juan Carlos, is coming to Los Angeles June 3. I haven't seen him in years. He leaves June 13. I want to see him and give him a big hug, talk to him for long, drive him around in my old car, laugh with him, hear what's up with my dad and my lil bro, take pictures of him... I want to see him so bad. I still don't know how, but I have to see him.

Also, I'm using my room as my studio. Someday I'll have my own studio... you know, a real one without my bed in there :) I'll make a photopost about it too. Since I do one for everything, seems like.

"Speak English!"

I swear sometimes I wish I could beat the ignorance out of some people.... life would be so much better. My sister's boyfriend works at a grocery store and he was helping some custumers today, and they happened to be Spanish-speaking, so he was speaking to them in Spanish when this ignorant woman tells him not to speak Spanish in this country. WTF?

I swear....

Yellow and blue!

Did I tell you where I am? Cause you would have to know...
I've been painting, smiling, reading about my friends' time in the city of ROMAnce, looking at photos in flickr, hanging out with friends, organizing my room, messing it up, and organizing it again. Yes, life is b-e-a-utiful!

I haven't been taking photos that much latetly, but yesterday I couldn't help but run for my camera when I saw this:



There will be a photopost with these pictures soon.

Friday!

This was my week of rest. I start summer school on monday. I hope to take web design I, the class was not completely full, so I'm just hoping it won't get cancelled. If it does get cancelled I'll get into photography I, which is at the same time. I really want web design, plus, that one counts for my major... photography wouldn't.

It's been a nice week despite the fact I've been working. It's been good. I had the best chicken cesar salad I've had in... years. I went to the Tropical Smoothie Cafe with my mom for lunch and she had a mini-soup and I had the salad. I had a gift card from there, I hadn't been there before. I think I will spurge some money later today if Trice calls me to go see the Da Vince Code movie. Mmmmmm... besides that and painting, not much new. Oh, wait... I've been reading! Please refer now to the "currently reading" list on the sidebar of this blog. I FINALLY got "Blue Like Jazz" this week. It was one of my bday wishes... but did I ever mention my birthday was not celebrated?!!! Not officially anyway. I went for diner with some friends and then I celebrated a little in DC the week after. But still. No freaking cake for me. So I went and got the book. I got tired of waiting for somebody to bookcross it.

I have to measure my windows now and then go to Lowe's to get my Java Natural Roman Shades. They'll look nice in my room.

On another topic, there are some people that are pretty much living one of my dreams. You can see their blogs here. Yes, it's click-worthy. Much love, now. I have to go get the shades.

Café melancolía

last night was pretty nice. i went to a different coffee shop and it was nice. the frozen cafe mocha i had was delicious.
i went there to play chess with my friend Adam. he's my official chess partner. he's getting very good, he takes more time to make any moves now... he pays more attention, which is not that good for me cause now i have to really watch it. he told me i'm the first person he's ever played with many times.... that means he's never won. one time we had a tight, but that's the closest he's gotten. last night i thought he would kick my butt... he was, actually, until he didn't notice that i could capture his queen -- and so i did. that move saved the game for me.
i didn't play that good last night, i made a lot of stupid mistakes. my dad would have given up on me and taken my place if he would have seen me play last night. oh, how much i want to see my dad and my two brothers Mario and Juan Carlos. i want to see Lidia too. i wish we could all meet soon... the five of us. it's been almost five years. it's been a very long time since i last saw them. i saw Lidia when i went to california for christmas 03. still... too long ago.
and that's how the days go for me. one thing leads to another and i end up thinking of those whom i love. of those whom i want to see... of those whom i can't be with right now.
Mario, my brother, is 21 today. Happy bday bro!

A lonely soul

I've been thinking a lot about a professor at the university lately. He teaches music. He's very lonely. Every time I stop to say hello and chat a little with him he tells me he's doing good, he says so smiling; but looking closely I see loneliness in his eyes. He spends a lot of time in the music building... a lot of time. I see him there in the morning when he teaches (or taught, for the semester's over) his classes, midmornings taking a cigarette break (even though he told me he was quiting), afternoons walking around the art building (maybe to get away from the music building for a little, but still staying near to be safe), and at night when he goes for coffee.

I saw him every time I stayed late at school studying or working on projects. He always looked sad.... The look in his eyes is louder than his smile.

The Spring semester's over and Summer classes haven't started, but last night when I was taking my wood home from the sculpture studio I saw him getting there. He parked his car and went into the music building. He walked slowly... as if he was counting his steps... as if he had just gotten home...

I don't know if he has a wife. I know he had a daughter and she was killed in a car accident in 2001. I didn't know her, but I've heard she was an amazing person. Sometimes I wonder if he stays on the music building playing the piano for hours just to be there alone... I wonder if he cries there. Sometimes I think he does....

Un poemita

Creo que somos los mismos con el aire y con el frío,
o con el calor de los primeros rayos de luz en la mañana.
Con permiso de aquellos que quisieran ser nosotros
pensamos en cada gesto, cada palabra que nace en nuestro corazón.
Y nos preguntamos por qué no podemos ser perfectos.
Y nos preguntamos por qué nos cuesta tanto amar.
Y por qué gastamos tiempo en lo que no nos gusta.
Y por qué a veces las cosas salen mal.
Somos mejores de lo que pensamos,
pero debemos más de lo que llevamos cuenta
y a veces olvidamos decir gracias
y decir adiós.
Y no mencionamos cuánto amamos a aquellos a quienes amamos,
olvidando como a veces nosotros necesitamos oírlo también.
Y a veces decidimos dejar al amor pasar frente nuestro
como algo imposible, aun sabiendo que puede ser nuestro.
A veces decidimos dejarlo ir por temor a ser heridos,
otras veces es descuido.
Y todo termina en la misma conversación.
Todo nos dirige a la necesidad de amar y ser amados.
Y al ver al cielo podemos imaginar
que hay una estrellita que nos pertenece.
Todo estará bien.

BEGutiérrez

P.S. I gave in to myspace.... www.myspace.com/aquarelita

Cold Coffee, Chess, and Graduation Presents

I met with my friend Adam last week to play chess. He's getting better... The first time we played I won 5 out of the 6 times we played. The other time was a tight. Last week we only had time to play twice. I won, but it took way longer. We'll play later today again.

My coffee got cold at work. It was no good. It made me wish I could go tonight to Common Grounds and have coffee with a friend. I had someone in mind for that coffee time. It would be nice.

I'm getting a book as a grad present for a friend.... I'll get the collected poems of Octavio Paz. He'll like that.

I organized my room yesterday. I needed to do that. It had been a mess ever since I got back from New Orleans. I know I know... but I just hadn't had any time. I'm ready to start painting now. I have to make Patrick's mural... that's long overdue. I'm also putting together an art show for this summer, many girls from the art department will have pieces. I'll have like two, but I'm putting it together with Brandee and Jeanne Marie. Exciting stuff.

I'm a little restless right now. I wonder if it was the cold coffee.....

My friend Rachel says pigeons are stupid, but this was just wrong.

I killed two pigeons today.

In short, I was driving and they didn't fly out of my way. Pigeons usually fly when they see a car coming, these two just looked at me. It was an accident. I felt guilty. It was horrible.

Final Paper for Essay Writing Class: My Spiritual Authobiography.

Looking up

As a kid, I would often think about how things would be had I been born in a different family or in a different country. How would it be if I were to look completely different or if I would be different in personality, or how it would be had I not been born at all. Would I exist as a different entity or would I just not be?
These thoughts used to terrify me. The thought of the possibility of not existing would make me anxious and feel trapped in ignorance; I needed some type of explanation of what I was supposed to do in life or the reason I was in that specific place, time, and family. That is why when I heard from someone that there was a God that had created me and had planned my life since before I was born, it all felt right.
I was raised in principles based on the Bible. My father always wanted my mother to get me and my sister involved in some religion; it didn’t matter what it was, he just wanted us to learn about connecting our mind to a higher power in which we could trust and believe in. That’s why I was baptized in the Catholic church as a kid and why my father would take us to mass every now and then, even though he was not a firm believer. My grandpa, my dad’s father, was Catholic; so I think my dad felt some respect for that religion because that’s what he was taught growing up. I don’t know what happened or why, but my dad went through many religions. One of the oddest ones to me was the Sai-Baba faith; which was a group of followers of Sri Sathya Sai Baba, a man from India. I don’t think I quite understood what it was all about, but I remember they cared a lot about inner peace and service. It seemed to me that my dad never took anything as the ultimate truth, so he always looked for ways of growing into a better person. He believed in charity; and church or a religion provided a way of serving others. But that’s just what I believe was going on in his life; we never really talked about it.
My mother also thought church was something good, so she would take us to Sunday school and the services in the Church of Christ whenever we visited my grandmother. My grandma, my mom’s mother, had always been Christian. I think she grew up in the Church of Christ and that’s where she took her children to church; but my mom was never as involved as my grandma in church. When my mom left my grandma’s house and moved to the city to get a job and go to college, she stopped going to church. She didn’t stop believing in God, but she didn’t go to church. Maybe she got lost in transition; in between life in the city with its dangers and responsibilities, and what she had left behind.
Then somehow, my mother, sister, and I finally ended up in a Baptist church near home; after walking by it one Saturday afternoon and being invited to attend the services on Sunday. In that church, I decided to let God be the center of my life. I was almost five when we started attending the services regularly. Much of what I remember growing up is in some way related to that church: friends, games, funny moments, sad experiences, people leaving, people coming into my life. All of a sudden, there was an explanation to the questions that I had; and that made me feel safe.
I developed a relationship with the higher power, the God and Creator of it all, according to the Bible. I would pray and read the Bible consistently, as well as attend church on a regular basis. I remember feeling complete, feeling happy for being friends with the One that had created it all; I wanted to share that feeling with others, and so I would try to get others to come to church with me. I was one of those people that annoy their friends with the fact that they need to come to church, but I did it because having God in my life made me happy and I wanted others to feel the same. I firmly believed that all others who did not accept Jesus as their savior would not go to heaven or have any part of a happy life after death. Once, I tried to tell my dad how he needed Jesus in his life, and he told me all humans have God in their heart; he said there was not only one way. That night I cried. I thought my dad will not go to heaven because he wasn’t willing to let Jesus in his life.
The fact that there seemed to be just certain people chosen by God to be believers, always bothered me. In some Sunday classes and some Bible studies I remember discussing the fact that not all would be saved, because not all were predestined for salvation. In theory, God had given everyone freedom of will, and so only those that chose to believe in God would have any part on the eternal life promised in the Bible. How fair and loving could that be? How fair is it if there are some people that have no access to those specific teachings and knowledge; people such as, let’s say, a small indigenous population in Peru. I always felt there was something wrong with that, because the God that I had gotten to know through my own study of the Bible and my prayers was a loving God that wanted everyone to live life loving and respecting others. The God I had gotten to know could not possibly be exclusive.
And I grew up like that, fearing that my own father and brothers would not have a chance of salvation if they didn’t believe in what I believed. I grew up trying to make them understand that God had a plan for them and He wanted them to love him in return, for I had learned that God loves every human. I worked hard at getting others to believe in my God and my principles, because I was so sure that it was the right way.
But as I lived, I saw how selfish that view is. What is right to me might not be right to others. Then I cannot help but think, what if this is all wrong, everything I’ve believed in? What if another religion has the truth and I’m missing out on that? What if my Mayan ancestors had the one true philosophy but were obliged to believe in the God of their conquistadors? The more I’d visit different places and learn about other cultures, the more I realized that my view was just one more view. I saw the same thing happening within the same religion. Different denominations would argue about different ways of doing things or interpreting the Bible. It got complicated and I suddenly forgot about fulfilling the purpose of God in my life and was worried about what type of instruments were the right ones to use at church, or what type of clothes I should wear on Sundays for the services. Finding out which way was the right way became pointless.
As I lived, I learned about social injustice and I saw things that didn’t make sense to me and made me wonder why God would allow something like that to happen. I first thought about it when I studied about the civil war in my country, El Salvador. Why would God let people die for political reasons, or why would he even allow the corruption that led to the war to begin with? I wanted an explanation, but I wasn’t allowed to make the questions. I was taught one shouldn’t question God and His will, for that’s showing lack of faith. When I studied about the massacres that took place during the war, I felt cheated; so many people died for reasons that just didn’t seem important enough. Why would God allow it? Why would he allow so many unnecessary murders to occur?
Faith is to believe in something even when one is not able to see it. As time passed and I witnessed injustice in reality, faith started to seem like a resource to use when everything else has failed. When the government has failed its people, when the poor are dying for lack of resources, when there is no way around a situation; then one needs to have faith. To me, it all seemed convenient; when one cannot help a situation, then there is nothing left but to believe it all will be fine at the end because something bigger and more powerful will act on the situation.
Another thing that has had an impact on me is death. I learned that there is life after death for those who believe in God. And the truth is, I really want to see again those I have lost. And so I hope for it to be real, I hope for an eternal life to be what awaits me after the life on this planet has come to an end. But there is no way of knowing if that’s how it will be. That’s when faith comes into play; believing in what cannot be seen.
I want to see my grandmother again, and hug her. I want to see my friends Maria and April, I want to be able to have everyone I love in a place where we won’t have to worry about gas prices, wars, violence, or material things. Heaven as a place of happiness and peace is a wonderful ideal.
But as questions about life arise, I long for explanations. I remember someone saying to me that I would be able to ask God any questions I had when I come in front of Him after I die. Back then, the first question that would come to mind was if dinosaurs really existed. Now, I can’t think of just one question to ask.
My life is full of questions, but maybe the most important one is about the evil nature of humanity. For there are so many good people in this world, but at the same time there’s so much wrong doing that sometimes the good is overshadowed.
An artist friend of mine was talking about two large panels that he constructed, and how it was so hard to move them from one place to another because of their weight and size. He complained for a while, and then he got quiet; and after a moment he said “it was my fault, I made them.” At that very moment, I wondered if God had ever said that after seeing the violence, the hate, the selfishness, and the lack of love that dominates the world.
There are so many questions for which I need some explanation. And I look for it everywhere; inside and out of myself, in books, in paintings, in the smile of others, in the passion of activism, in sunsets, in self-portraits, and in words of others. But I’ve come to realize that some of the things that help me better understand this life and its purpose come to me, rather than me finding them. The moment I stop trying to find the answers, some light comes to me. That’s how I came to read a piece by Claude Cahun, a surrealist writer and photographer. The essay was a response to a question about the most important encounter she had experienced in her life, and to that she said, “I am still waiting for some remarkable circumstance to strike me, by which to evaluate various encounters whose greater or lesser importance and meaning I see more or less clearly.” I think I am too, waiting for something to happen so I can get some clarity about everything I’ve lived through.
One of the most important principles in my life is having a purpose for being alive. I believe that I am where I am not by chance, but because it is necessary for me to fulfill a job that only I can do. And so I look for ways to improve the lives of others around me; I look for meaning in every action and for joy in every moment.
For me, building meaningful relationships with others is one of the most important parts of life. I believe in having a relationship with God, for I believe there is a God that is misrepresented in this planet by all his followers. And religion, religion adds structure, but I think it has gotten out of hand to the point that is not about God anymore. The more I think about it, the more I realize that religion has become about the individuals that follow it, and not about God; and I don’t think God is very pleased about it. So I don’t go to church as I use to. And if I go, I think more about the things I’m being taught; I question more. After all, those things are being taught by humans whose mistakes are just as bad as mine; and who don’t have all the answers, just like me.
I also believe in happiness and finding the value of everything that surrounds me. I believe in integrity; I heard somewhere that God doesn’t expect everyone to be perfect, just to be honest. And honesty combined with acceptance can make life easier to live.
I believe love is manifested in service, understanding, and respect. I believe in finding value and beauty in the simple things in life, like a flower, the sunshine, a smile, or a hug. I believe in quiet moments, for reflections leads a person to growth. I believe one can do anything desired if one puts hard work and passion on doing it. I believe life is too short to waste time in things that can’t be changed, and too big to be confined to one perspective of things. Death comes running after everyone. Death is coming after me, getting closer to me until the day she catches me still.

Mom's Day!

Feliz Dia de Las Madres to all the Madrecitas!!!
I got my mami roses last night, she liked them :) She is, hands down, the best mami in the whole world. She's been a papi and a mami for me and she's worked so hard to get me and my sister to be civilized... gracias mami!

I was lying on the lawn in front of the union.

This was my view.

Nice study break

This weekend has been a nice study break. I feel like I finally managed to slow down... I hadn't done so since DC. Geez, how long ago was that? After my birthday... oh, man.
The train ride yesterday and doing pretty much nothing today was good. I woke up at 7:30 am with no alarm or anything... I just kinda woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, so I worked on the revision of my paper. It's done. Ready to turn in. I worked on it in the morning and then I slept some more until I got ready and got to school to study Ad Principles with Charisma. We studied just a little bit because she had to go watch Grey's Anatomy.
So I came into the coffeeshop and I'm working on my final paper due Thursday-- It's my spiritual autobiography. It's almost done because my draft was so good (ha!).
AND I got a free Mocha with whipped cream... I guess the person that ordered it left. So I got it. How nice was that!

Not-So Eternal Sunshine

I think my Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind DVD is ruined. There's one scene when it seems to get crazy and it stops until I have to forward to the next scene. That's one of my favorite movies, so it's sad. Anyone know if I can fix it?

On a different note, I went on a train ride today with my mom and sis. It was my work's summer event (I know, a little early for summer events...). It was nice and my mom loved it, she had been wanting to take the ride for quite some time. Lunch at the little cafe was gooooood :) We were really hungry. I also spent all day impersonating the cokie man-- the one from Shrek, when it said all dramatic "Do you know... the muffin man?" It was pretty amusing, I have to say.

There were also a lot of pictures taken. And I went to an art gallery where I bought A BUNCH of prints of nice paintings for a VERY LOW PRICE. Yes-- I loved it. It reminded me of New Orleans... that gallery did.

I feel liberated

I slept good last night. I have things to do, but I feel great. It's raining and it looks beautiful outside. I'm sitting in front of the window at the cafe in the student union. I like the view. I have to revise a paper and I have to turn it in tonight for class... but I'm not working on it right now. Right now, I'm looking out the window... the water looks so beautiful hitting the ground... and I enjoy seeing people with their umbrellas. Beauty.
I see a lot of smiles and there's a guy that just passed by in his bike... no rain coat or anything. He was soaking. Looked like fun. He had a big smile in his face. Life is good. Time is so precious. I love living.
I was thinking this morning, maybe I don't want to be a wife... not that I have anyone who wants me to be one right now... but I was just thinking.
Listen to "Modern Dance" by Lou Reed or just look for the lyrics.
Oh yeah, my umbrella broke. I tried to fix it with hot-melt glue but I don't think it's working out well. That's fine.

Update

I've made it. From here is just down the hill because I only have to turn in my final version of the spiritual autobiography and the revision of one of the other papers for essay writing, and I have to take the final on advertising principles... but that's it! I love it, I'm drained... I haven't been sleeping. I came home at 4 am last night, at 1 am the night before, and at 3 am the night before that (Monday morning?!). I stayed late on campus on Saturday... but it was before midnight so it doesn't really count.

I finished my two final art projects for 3D design and graphic design. I was very proud of my work... it was gooooooood! I loved how the CD case ended up looking. And the installation for 3D was very nice and it fulfilled its purpose. When I finished it last night I walked through it and I felt like I felt in my dream. People liked it this morning for critique and my professor recognized the hard work that went on it. I got an A. Happiness. Richard said it was good. Hamilton liked it... he actually helped me a lot last night when I was putting it together with Brooke. Hamilton made me laugh so hard... he said it was looking kinda ghetto but it was all good. I love these people!!! Thank God for Brooke. She helped me sooooooooo much. I was out of words to express how thankful I was.

Now I have to get on the ball on some things to finish up stuff for the VAC. Then I get on Diversity Alliance stuff and AAUW. I also have three major art projects this summer (besides for what I'll do on my summer class); I have a mural, an art show to coordinate (it's a bunch of girls from school, we'll have a show this summer), and a logo mark I'm working on for a campaign from the health center at school.

Things are looking good.

I have also been spending a lot of time with my friend Richard. We've been talking a lot about various things. He went with me to the rally on Monday and he also let me use his drill for my installation (my final for 3D design). I also really like his cat... the cat is funny and seems to like me back.

I need to sleep. I feel pretty much out of it right now, but I feel relieved... I'm done with the major stuff... So to celebrate I spent some time in the swing outside the art building today, took some pictures, and went to Sonic with my friend Kerry... it was a trip we planned a couple of weeks ago. We tried different combinations of the fountain drinks. Needless to say, we ended up with a sugar high!

LOOK AT SOME PICTURES OF THE INSTALLATION