Mmm... I don't have a title for this one.

I don't know where my creative juices have been going. I've been working on my artshow, I finished 3 paintings right before it was time to put it up. And I finished April's painting, "Abril Amor", on Saturday. But it seems to me, it feels like at least, that I've been blocked of something. Proof of that is my photoblog. The last post was some pictures that I found while looking for something else, I found the album on the computer and I realized I had not made a post for them. But the post before that, it's like a bunch of pictures from here and there. Not really artistic, I think. I wrote a poem, but I usually write a lot when I get on that mode-- not this time, though. It was only one poem. I've spent some creativity in changing the template for this blog and for the photoblog... but that sound more like an excuse, now that I read over that last line I wrote. I've also been reading, but not as much as I would like. And I haven't played chess with Adam in more than a month!!! Even my blog writing has felt weak lately.

It feels odd. I'm usually much more productive than this, even in my not-so-productive times.

Last Friday, I didn't feel that good when I got home. It was about 5:30 pm and I decided to take a little nap... I woke up passed midnight. Needless to say, I was confused. I was turning on my bed when I opened my eyes and wondered "why am I not on my pj's?" and then I got up and look at the clock and saw the time. I changed clothes, got my pj's, brushed my teeth, and... went to check my email... the computer was on, so I thought why not?! After that I checked my voicemail and I had 8 missed calls... EIGHT! Nobody ever calls me when I'm up and running. And even though I felt good about sleeping a lot, because maybe I needed it. The point is, I want to create-- paint, take pictures, write... but lately, it's like it is just not coming out of me.

Have I lost my mojo?! hehehe I had to say that.

Anyways, here's the flyer I finished this morning. If you're around, you should come to my artshow reception!!!

A tribute to April Love

I finished the painting I was doing for April. I'm happy with the resulting painting. It took me quite some time to complete but I finally did... on time for an artshow I'm putting for me and another girl. She'll have some photos showing and I have 13 paintings.

The reception is on August 8th at 6:30 pm.

Do NOT forget!

I got a call at work on Tuesday. I answered and after I gave my name I said the usual "how can I help you?" and then the lady asked for my name again and when I said it one more time she said "I want to talk to somebody that speaks English" and I wasn't expecting that and I said, in a more serious voice with my business-smile erased from my face, "I speak English" and she "Well, I can't understand a word you said." I said hold-on and hung up her phone call.

My coworker asked why I hung up, she said the lady was mad because of I-don't-know-what. I told her she didn't have to be rude. I said "rude" but I was really thinking "racist" and other thousand words that came from my anger.

My coworker saw me and she hugged me. When the lady called back someone talked to her and defended me.

It was only a phrase.

But that phrase made me cry and angry and reminded me how I am not home here. And how many people don't want me, or my family, or anyone that looks like me to be here. In this country that would not be as successful and powerful if it wasn't for all the workers from other countries that were first brought here for cheap labor-- but when the workers started coming because of political reasons, or trying to escape hunger, danger, and poverty then, only then, were not welcome here.

And the thing is, the phrase itself was not what pierced through me-- it was the tone of the voice behind the phrase.

Change is good.

That's why I've learned to appreciate airports and planes. There's a story I read in my Essay Writting class, it was about change. About a lonely lady that lived sometime in New York by herself. The story started in an airport and it ended in one. When my professor asked why we thought the story was about changes I raised my hand and said "because of the airport."

Maybe I, more than anyone on that classroom, knew more personally the significance of an airport in that story.

I say that because I changed the look of this blog. The background is now a nice view of some of the monuments in Washington, D.C. I took this picture from the terrace of the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in March of this year. I like this change. Just like I now like airports and planes and window seats.

I needed that nap.

I took a 2-hour nap today. It was good. I just wrote a poem and now I'm short on words. So let me give you this picture:

If you take me out, it would make a GREAT shot.

Mmmmm... I'll go read or do something more productive. I have to finish one more painting for the show. All the paintings are up already but I left the room for this one. It's a special one. I'll work on it this weekend.

It's been a good week. Sushi Thursday with Erin, Gigi and Jonah was great. I had a Georgia roll that was delicious. A little too expensive, but delicious.

Ja and Jo

On Sunday I had breakfast with my friends Ja and Jo. We had a good time and we laughed a lot at Neal's cafe... where everything looks so macho-man except for the pink walls... yea, real men wear pink. Whatevah. Here's this video... because thanks to myspace now I can videoblog!!! i love it!!!


Get this video and more at MySpace.com

and here's my myspace

E-M-P-T-Y

I was up until late painting. That's why when my alarm went off this morning I had a very hard time getting up and walking to the bathroom for my daily shower. I really wanted to stay in bed for a couple of hours more. I even thought about not going to class. It was very difficult to win over that temptation... I got myself together and went to school. I was a little late, about ten minutes late, but at least I was there.

While walking on that lonely summer hallway I was thinking that I should have just stayed in bed. I knew we wouldn't have a quiz because we had our first exam yesterday, and I knew that I could easily catch up on any info missed. But still I was walking to the classroom.

SO... Imagine what went through my head when I got to the classroom and found that it was EMPTY!!! Not a soul was there!!! Not even the professor!!! I was confused, I was late remember, and that added up to me thinking I had missed something-- I checked the syllabus to see if it was an off day or something, but it wasn't. So I just walked back to my car. On my way there I stopped by the professor's office and it was dark.

I don't know what happened. I guess I'll find out tomorrow at 7:30 am. I'll be on time tomorrow.

Freakin hot.

It's been very hot lately and news reports say the heat wave it's nationwide in the U.S. there's no doubt we've messed up the planet, we're killing ourselves by not caring for our forests, our rivers, our oceans, our fauna, our lives....

Everything is so ridiculously bad that you don't know what to do... laugh or cry. War across the globe is killing thousands of souls everyday, crime is getting worst by the minute in Latin America. And the Salvadoran government... Well, there's no words to describe them... Evil... so corrupt. And I say the Salvadoran government because they're my freaking people, not because they are the worst of all or anything. I'm just saying because they're the ones I know more about, they don't even let people voice their opinions anymore. Yes, that's right. If you want to do a march in El Salvador you might not live to see the sunset of that day. You might get shot by a national police man or sprayed with pepper gas by the army.

And then Bush says "shit" during the G8 summit. I don't expect good things from him, but I'm mean... can't he at least try to act right during the G8 summit?!!

Catching up

Art show reception tonight: We had the reception for the student art show that we put together for the summer. It was very simple and nice. We didn't get as many people as I had for my show last summer, so this time I got the chance to sit down, talk and even eat some of the food. Brandee, one of the other artists, got some friends there and her parents. It was nice.

Big Cities: I would love to go to an art show in some place like Rome, DC, Santa Fe, or San Francisco. Wouldn't it be nice?! But well, right now I'm sticking to the art shows in NWA. It's ok here.

Postcards: Chris bought me a bunch of postcards in her trip to CA. I love postcards. She brought me one from Hoover Dam, one from the Grand Canyon, and a bunch of Frida Kahlo postcards that she got in Santa Fe, New Mexico!!! I love them!!!

Good-bye: Ja and Jo are leaving me. Jo got a position at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas, and so they're leaving at the end of this month. Who's gonna go with me to the cemetery if I have another photo assignment? Who's gonna let me paint their white cat with color markers? Who's gonna take me to the renaissance fest in OK and let me play with their XM radio all the way there and back?!!!! Who's gonna tell me that it's all gonna be ok because IHOP is open 24 hrs?!!!!! WHO???!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll miss you both very very much....

"Howdy!" the pick-up line at Texas A&M

Howdy!

I got back from my trip to College Station, TX last night. I went there for the NASPA Summer Leadership Institute. I almost didn't want to go, and I almost didn't take my camera (that's how enthusiastic I was). But I got there and it turned out I had an amazing time. I got to meet great people from all over and I learned a lot from most of them. I also said some deep things that got people thinking -- he he, you know!

Texas A&M was the host for the institute and they did an AMAZING job! Everyone was very kind and, you know, just good people. They fed us every 5 seconds. Really. I think that I was only hungry once while I was in Texas. My fave were the rolls... oh yeah, those Aggie Rolls!!!

The Aggies have so many traditions and so much school spirit. It came close to driving me nuts-- But I balanced it out by Calling the Hogs (Wooo Pig Sooie!) I even got my new friend Alondra saying Pig Sooie a lot! She was so much fun!

I got to meet great student affair professionals. I still am trying to figure out what I want to do. I have no plan. I just know I have to graduate in May 07. I cannot postpone my grad date, because I really can't afford this education any longer. It's been hard but it's worked out ok. I learned a lot about grad schools and I got to take a look at some career paths I might like. There were some great presentations during the institute; actually, the whole curriculum was great. I got to work in a case study with my group and we did fantastic. The case study was about the use of online communities-- the case was on myspace.

I also got to see my friend Shailen while I was over there. We watched the world cup final with him-- ooooooooooooooh so good! It was so much fun, specially after Zidane's little show. We talked a lot too! It was so nice to see him again. Time goes by fast, he left AR to go to Aggieland at the end of Fall 2004. That seems like a long time to me, but then again, time has gone by flying! He asked for Ro and then we remembered how we used to see each other at RZ's all the time in the mornings when Ro and I would be studying and he would come for his morning caffeine dose. Oh, friends. I'm blessed.

And well, my trip lasted a little longer than planned. My flight on Sunday was cancelled because "the plane was broke." I don't know what happened, but I couldn't get another flight until Monday at 4:50 pm. I was the last one to leave College Station. I wasn't mad, though. I got to stay at the Hampton Inn, do a little bargain shopping, eat some more delicious Texas food, AND I got to sleep in the next day in a very nice bed. I lived it UP! Maybe it was better that way, maybe I needed that, and maybe someone up there made it happen for me. I got a great lunch on Monday with Lesley-Ann, we went to Jason's Deli and my Santa Fe Chicken Sandwich was yummy!

When I left, I was ready. I don't think I could have handle that weather for much longer. It was HOT and SO HUMID! My hair was all over the place, except for the last day when I had the time to blow dry it like it needed it. On the bright side, I think that weather did good to my skin. I looked really good when I got home last night, and I truly think it had to do with the weather.

And well, I made it back to Arkansas just fine. I bought some postcards at the Dallas airport and read a lot. I'm blessed that I've had the chance to travel so much so far this year. I don't know when's the next time I'll get on a plane, but I hope is not far in the future.

Much love... and Gig 'em! (oh yeah, A&M got to me)

Texas was HOT!

I JUST got back. A day later than planned because the plane broke and my original flight got cancelled.

More later. I'm tired and I have class at 7:30 am tomorrow.

Off to the Texas heat.

Tomorrow at 8:21 am I am scheduled to take a plane to Dallas. I make connection in Dallas to go to College Station, TX. Tomorrow is exactly one month after I took a plane to DC.

This time I am not very excited about the trip. I'm traveling alone and I do not know anybody from the group I will stay with. I'm going for a leadership institute for a couple of days. Another reason why I'm not so happy about the trip is because I'll miss the Germany-Portugal game for the 3rd place in the World Cup. And I might miss the final. I'm scheduled to board the plane at 4:30 pm, by then the game will be over. I do not know if I'll find a place where I can watch it. I'll do EVERYTHING I can not to miss it. I want my Italian boys to beat the crap out of France and I want to get excited and scream at every fault and celebrate every goal-- I'll be very loud.

I haven't packed my bags. This is not because of my lack of enthusiasm, but because I'm a last-minute-packer. I could be going to my so-loved El Salvador and still pack at 3 am or so.

I'm tired. I took my tia Miriam shopping today. I bought stuff for the family over there. I feel very much broke right now.

I've been reading "Black, White & Jewish" by Rebecca Walker. She's an amazing writer and that book is really getting to me. I might finish it on the plane tomorrow and when I come back. I have to read a chapter from a book that the institute people sent me, but that'll take just from 10-15 minutes.

I would take the iPod Shuffle I got from ROCK Camp, but the thing won't charge in my sister's PC. I guess I need a Mac... or a charger that's like $29 but I'm too cheap to buy for myself. Oh, well.

I was reading some of the documents I got about the institute and about Texas. It's a turn off to know it will be very hot and humid. AND that there are some random little black bugs flying around. I don't want no bugs all up in my face! They said they're harmless but that didn't change the way I feel about them.

I figure I have to go. Although I will probably just go see pictures on Flickr.com for a few minutes. Ciao! Go Italy! Vamos Italia!!!

My week in 10 points (and a few pics)

1. I spent a couple of days at home, recovering from surgery.

2. The painkillers made me dream a lot.

3. I got my textmessaging function on my cell working again.

4. I worked a lot on my class project, and so, spent a lot of time in the visual design computer lab in the art department.

5. I went back to work on Wednesday.

6. I've spent a lot of time with my family, which makes me happy.

7. My tia Miriam came from El Salvador to visit. She'll be here for about a week.

8. I've taken A LOT of pictures.

9. Lake day yesterday. Sandia helada. Carne asada. And lots of fun. I started eating hard foods yesterday, which is a lot of work; it took me about thirty minutes to eat a carne asada taco at the lake yesterday.

10. I'm very happy Portugal sent England home. But I'm SO MAD about Brazil... what the heck happened?! France was not the one I expected to win.

Now, here are the pictures:

Me and my tia Miriam, at a taqueria the night she came:


La familia at the lake. Everyone in this picture is related to me:


Las tias eating sandia helada:


Tia Miriam, my mami, and tia Chave:

A ride in my tio Samuel's lancha:


Me, pretty much being the queen of the lake: