Midnight coloring session

It all started when I looked at the mirror and saw the black roots... dang, it was bad. I needed some help, but El Chapulin Colorado was nowhere to be found, so I had to think of something else... fast....


...because, look at that hair... it's almost orange!!!


But could that Soft Black #30 Garnier Nutrisse Nourishing Color Creme with Fruit Oil Concentrates really be the answer to all my hair-coloring problems?!


Let's try it. Don't forget to read the instructions... even though it's always the same deal. Make sure you have everything before starting...


... don't forget the little comb! You don't want to start looking for it in the middle of applying the color cream, cause then you would get EVERYTHING stained.


After the contents of the little thingy are gone, you have to wait 25 minutes if you are retouching, but 35 minutes if you've gone for more than 3 months without color or if you have any gray hair. You saw my black roots... I saw them too, so I left it for 45 minutes.


And then... enjoy! Can someone say "even color"?!
I love it! Now I might even blend in with the Bikes Blues & BBQ croud.

About adulthood.

The day I turned 20 years old I had a conversation with some older friends at the office on campus, one of them was saying how he knew he was a grown-up once he didn't run out of gas anymore.

All I have to say about that conversation today is that it doesn't really count when you're gas meter thingy doesn't work properly.

I need a new car.

A test that drove me to profanity.

It feels like I have been gone from my own life. I have been studying straight since Saturday morning. Well, I babysat Emma on Saturday, but as soon as she closed her little blue eyes I hit the freaking books. I had a test first thing Monday morning, and then I had a quiz... that really felt more like a second test on that day. THEN I had a test this morning. For this particular test, I had been studying since last week.... and still, it was very difficult. I enjoy that class a lot, but man, that test really DID drive me to profanity. Needless to say, I have had very little sleep for the past week. And this morning I woke up feeling very sick, I guess it was my body protesting all this mess.

And still, after all that, this week is a very busy one. I have some reading to do for tomorrow and I need to have my painting done by Thursday.

Plus, there some stuff going on at home that's not helping my emotional stability. I mean, last week was just very hard for me. I had to deal with a lot of things.

Anywayos (that's Spanish), I am taking some time for me and coloring my hair. I'm going back to my espresso dark self. I figure, I'll feel better with no black roots and red/orange hair.

Down the to-do list

My Consumer Behavior exam 1 is tomorrow, and later in the day I will take the Typography quiz for which I have not yet read. Then, on Tuesday I have my History of Graphic Design exam 1. I could handle one of these, but all together are a little too much for my brain.

I better get back to studying... I was just doing the weekly typo entry on my blog.

Miss Love,

This date last year was your funeral. I guess that was our good-bye, or our until-the-next-smile; except I didn't get to see your smile that day. I just saw your picture, your coffin, many flowers, and your family. They were crying and that broke my heart. And I wanted to cry so much, but I couldn't-- I couldn't because there were all these people that also were crying and sad and I just know that I couldn't cry, that I needed to be strong for you and for me because you were strong for both of us many times.
It was the hardest thing to be there and think I wouldn't hug you again or see your face or hear your voice again. I couldn't stand that thought, I just wanted to sleep to see if when I woke back up I would realize it was all a horrible dream, and that really, I would see you the next day or so.
It was hard to see your mom cry, and to see your dad and his eyes so red from tears. And your sisters were so sad... I wanted to stop all that. I wanted to stop the pain.

That day, when we were driving back from Hope I saw the moon in the darkest night I have ever seen. It was so rare for the sky to be so dark when there was a full moon out. And that made me think of Heaven being sad too-- I wanted to reach for that moon to see if I could find you there, laughing... so happy and beautiful.

I thought about you and the moon. And I cried in the darkness of the back seat of the rental car that got me back to Fayetteville.
I wrote a poem about that night a few days later.

And now, a year later, I still cry when nobody can see me. Because I want all this to go away, and I want you to be alive and well, and happy like you always were. And I think of you so much.
We did a balloon release in your memory.... and it was all so sad and wrong, because one should not be doing a memorial for a young, intelligent woman that had so much more to live. I celebrate your life, but I miss you and I wish I could change all that happened. But Someone knows better.... or at least that is what I should believe.

April, I love you and miss you.

http://cafeconvos.blogspot.com/2005/09/poem.html

10 minutes to blog... GO!

Man, it's been quite a week. I've been working hard and next week will be awful with a bunch of tests and quizes. I've been pretty good this week doing everything I'm supposed to do, except putting together my canvas. I'm still to do that, so tonight I will be ripping 2x4's in the woodshop and putting them together. I'll do only one because I want to go to the lecture for Hispanic Heritage Month tonight-- plus, they will have Salvadoran food for the reception. Can't miss out on that!!!

I'm tired, I woke up extra early today because I had to hit the hardware store at 7 am to get the plywood, and all the other stuff I need to make the canvas and the panels for painting class. I ran into my Tio Manuel while in there and so he's getting me the 2x4's I need. That was nice. My tio is scoring points big time with me... not that I keep points or anything, but I just wanted to say that he's been around a lot lately, and we've been talking a lot.

I got a call from Juanca, my bro, yesterday. It was a little bitter-sweet. There were some bad news that required some urgent actions from us-- and there were some good news too. And it was really nice to hear from him. He's working hard and trying to help out my dad in El Salvador. He's working a couple of jobs. His English is really good, too. From that, I called my dad this morning and we talked.

Oh, man. I'm tired-- it's hard to rest during the school semester because there are so many things going on at once. Tomorrow we have a balloon release in memory of April. I talked to her mom...

I need to go now, but before I log out, I need to share what I found on the student affairs website. If you go there and keep reloading the page I will eventually appear on the header of the page. http://studentaffairs.uark.edu

Latin Soul Night

Last night was the Latin FNL. It was fun. There was a Cuban band (www.havananrg.com) playing that, Ay Dios Mio, was so gooooooood!!! I had some paintings in exhibit and there was lots of food-- Salvadoran food. Oh Yes, we didn't have Chartwells cater for a change, we had food from Savor Latino in Springdale. So I had 2 pupusas with salsa and curtido, and that just made my night a little more special.
I also saw Gigi and LaTrice. I hadn't seen LaTrice in awhile, so it was nice to see my chicas again. It was really neat, I saw many friends from around. I have to admit, though, I was a little scared for my life... I didn't know if the Cuban men from the band were gonna do something to me if they were to see the Che painting I was displaying inside the union.

More Latin Soul Night photos here.

This is dedicated to Samuel...

Dude, I don't know you. And frankly, I don't think we'll ever meet. But this week Pauli and I had a cyber-talk and so I decided to give you this song:

Divided spirit

Today I met her: www.alyssamonks.com
She came to my painting class. We talked about painting. A lot. It was a great talk. But I felt uneasy about my artistic future.
I felt divided.

Later, this evening I went to the lecture. It was also great.

Oh, design students are so crazy...

I had my graphic design typography class today. We had a quiz. It was hard. I felt bad.

But the point of my post is not to talk about the quiz, but to talk about my fellow graphic design students. Today was fun, I hadn't gotten one of those laughter crisis in a long time... We had been talking about so many things, including the quiz, Mac computers, iPods and the NEW generation of iPods (yeah, that's my life-- I get my new iPod video and in less than a week is all gone to hell because there are some new and better ones out). And well, most of the talking about the new Apple stuff was done by Anna. She said she knows so much about it (and it is A LOT that she knows) she has learned because she works at the computer store on campus, so she has to be up to date in all that.

After that, we went into the computer lab to star working on our projects. Anna sat next to me, and next to Anna sat Hamilton. From there, it all went downhill. We continued talking about our projects, facebook, the new facebook crap, etc. When suddenly (I might have spaced out for a moment because I don't recall how we started on this topic) Anna said she talks to herself when she's stressed; and so I gave her a look, an we-can-still-be-friends-even-though-you-do-that look. And after seeing my face she said "please get her away from me." To that, I tried not to react, but it was impossible. Anna explained "that's what you're thinking now about me now" and it started... I asked Anna if she had an imaginary friend, because I thought she had said that to herself. I started laughing because I wanted to say "I would get her away... but I can't see her." I couldn't even explain to Anna and Hamilton why exactly I was laughing so hard. I was almost crying.

They're so much fun. Now I'm off to watch Project Runway. I'll try, at least. My tv is giving up on me. The screen goes black after a couple of minutes of watching it, and to fix it you have to turn it off and then back on. Oh, well.

Also, my sis Barbie is 20 years old today. She's had a happy birthday :) My mom and I got her a tres leches cake.

Remembering my dear April Love

Today makes one year since I last saw April. It was a saturday and we were at a football game at school. I was working on collecting donations for the hurricane Katrina victims, she was sitting outside the stadium watching the game from a little hill by one of the entrances. I was going down the steps when I heard her voice shouting "B." I looked and it was her. We exchanged a couple of words and I told her to call me. I don't remember the last I said to her, but I remember her smiling and just shining with life, as always. That was the last time I saw her. She was with him. We sent each other text messages later that night. We said we would speak the following day, because we had so much to talk about. We never talked again.

The moment I was told she was gone plays clearly in my head often. Specially when I'm around campus and I think of calling her on her cell phone or see something that reminds me of her, that's when that moment replays in my head. Those words. I want to erase those words when I was told she was gone. This loss wasn't natural, she was taken.

The fact she's gone is surreal. Her life has marked us, who love her, in ways that changed the course of so many of our actions and thoughts. She certainly did great here on Earth, but she had much more to do, so many more lives to impact, so much more to live. She raised standards wherever she went and challenged the norm. And she empowered many, she empowered me.

I hold the memories of good times and talks in my heart, but all the pictures and the stories will never be enough. She left a void that cannot be filled.

April, I miss you so much. I'll see you in heaven, amiga.


http://april-love.memory-of.com/About.aspx

Inspiration from one generation to other

I visited with the AAUW ladies from one of the local chapters today. They invited me to their brunch meeting this morning. It was really nice, they had me as their guest speaker on the agenda. I shared with them my experience in Washington, DC for the NCCWSL and my work on the SAC. They listened and looked at my with joy, I could see it in their eyes and smiles. They smiled and asked questions about the conference, the work with AAUW, my opinions on certain topics such as rape and insecurity on campus, they looked at my pictures from the conference and even applauded after I finished.
Most of the ladies there are seniors and so I know they looked at me thinking I had to take on their roles not after they're gone but right now, I know they were relieved to see someone my age taking action in the fight for equity. But what I think they might not know is that they inspired me today. They are active in the community, working on what they think is right and noble, wanting to better this world for the generations that follow.

WoOoO HoOoO!!!

I have about 500 paintings to finish,
about 2 chapters to read
in 4 different books.
But at THIS very moment,
I don't really care.
Why?!

Because of this:

About a weekend

This weekend was fun. I had a good time with my family and I got a lot of things done. Thank goodness for labor day and a 3-day weekend. Saturday my school got morally destroyed by USC. They kicked our butts in football.
Good thing I don't care about that sport, so I'm emotionally ok. I babysat for some friends that day, so I watched the game on TV. Well, I half-watched it, because most of the time I was reading or channel-surfing. I even got a little of Project Runway that night. Sunday, I went out with my mom. We wanted to go to a fair, but they had taken it down sometime before we decided that it'd be good to go for a minute, so we ended up in Barnes & Noble where she didn't let me buy anything. This is what she did: we went around, looked at postcards, she let me go around and scan some books and pick 3-4 that I wanted to buy, THEN she decided she wanted to leave and went to me and got the books from my hand and enumerated reasons why I didn't need/want any of those books. Until I ended up just with the postcards, and then I said "well, why buy only the postcards?" and put them down. She said "YAY! CONGRATULATIONS! THAT'S WHAT I LIKE! YOU DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING!" She was smiling a lot.
We took these pictures outside BN. She wanted to go into the pet store, but I didn't go in because it stunk. We went for dinner to Applebee's and then to my uncle's house. Then we all (too many relatives to mention everyone's name) went to the movies and saw World Trade Center. We got out at about midnight then went to the Waffle House for some... *suspense*... waffles.

Ay, la familia :)

Today we just had lunch together and then I went and dropped her off at work. We took her car to the shop because it's acting up. I have to go pick her up later on, so I just came to the studio and finished the paintings for tomorrow. I really like them! I have to read a lot, but I wanted to update the blog and search for an article online. I'm done with both.

In and out of this highway

And the week just went by....
Hanging out with friends,
events, planning, studying, lots of reading,
hugging, movies, laughs,
purple sunsets with orange souls,
car rides, cruising....
consumer behavior, and history,
waiting for books bought online,
gas, pictures, Mount Sequoyah,
graphic design history, weird looks, random meetings,
names forgotten, new names learned,
crossing out to-do's and writing new ones,
design this, type out that,
think of this, disregard, news paper addiction,
hallway talks, art shows,
postcards from Italy--
Tim's Pizza, Ajuas, and other unrelated types of food.
This week has been good,
has been long and short--
all in all, I've smiled.
It's almost been a year, April....